So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
third nipple confirmed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
