Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
