Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
