it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sober January is a disaster.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
