listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
