3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
