you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
