I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
