Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize