Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Who died my cat blue again?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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