So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
