it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I bet he comes in French.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
