You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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