I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
