Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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