I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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