I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
