sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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