dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
