i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
