Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
