I cannot find my penis.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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