no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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