I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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