he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize