I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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