I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
