The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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