Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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