yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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