I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You made out with two different species that night
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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