His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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