She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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