is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize