I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
