omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
