No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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