its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
