If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
