If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
