Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize