P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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