Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
