I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
