i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
