I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
