____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
