Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
