do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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