I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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