Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
