If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize