3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
