but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
