Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
