i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
farters have to be the big spoon...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
