She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
