fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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