Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
