I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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