You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
sex in a hospital.. check
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
