How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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