Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
