I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
