hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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