There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
