Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
