Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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