She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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