Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
