New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
