guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize