Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
