Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
