That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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