then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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